When fatigue leads to compassion fatigue?
Posts from the ‘Grace’ Category
Receiving grace is not always an easy or calming process. Emily Dickinson described a “harrowing grace” in one of her poems about the change of seasons. It is in the breaking up of rigid soil that sunnier days dried out that fertile ground is found for new plantings. The grace we find in the harvest is not intended to answer the “why” of the trauma, the grief, or the challenge, but it can answer the “what next.”
When do we become real for one another? In the beginning week, my daughter and I only spent a few hours together and never touched. She was cared for more by nurses on 12 hour shifts than me. My son didn’t meet his sister for two months because it was flu season and he was too great of a risk. But birthdays and cupcakes were something he recognized.
The celtic spirituality teacher, John O Donahue, speaks about the isolation we cannot penetrate in others but that there are moments of recognition that make the gap between our transient and eternal selves bearable.
Saturday, January 9, 2010 8:28 AM, EST
I went back to see Grace Friday afternoon. She was back up to 30bpm because of C02 levels in blood. It looks like this weaning is going to take longer than expected. We pray the medication for the PDA will work well to help with the weaning off vent, but that it will not affect her gut or kidneys too much.
They were changing her tube so I was able to get photos not only without blue light but with a better view of her face! This will be good to show James and David (who was feeling ill and therefore not able to go see her yesterday. How hard that will be to get through the days we can’y visit if we get sick this season).
These will help us introduce James to the baby. We celebrated her 1 week birthday on Thursday with micro-cupcakes for the nurses and for James. He is now very interested in “the baby” and “Margaret Grace” who gives cupcakes. Hearing him pronounce “Margaret Grace” perfectly somehow makes her presence in the family more real for all of us. He’s never seen her, but he has no doubt that she exists, why then should I doubt she will come home?
To get photos of her open eyes while her hood was up, I sang “Over My Head, I hear music in the air.” not quite like Bertilla would but I guess MG is partial to mommy’s voice because she looked right in my direction and flashed those dark blue baby eyes.